I hate not being able to make sense of things. I feel so incredibly confused all the time. I don't know who I am... I feel like an outsider in my own life. Like I just pop in from time to time but it is someone else who has lived my life for me. Not that I want this life so I should be thankful that there is a piece of me who was able to escape it. But it leaves me feeling so empty and disconnected.
I am realizing more and more through therapy that I want to change things. I want to be happy and present, to be able to heal from the past, and create a new life for myself and my daughter. In order to achieve this I need to confront all those demons I have kept buried. To give a voice to that little girl who was so scared and confused as to why she was so different to deserve such unspeakable acts. To give a voice to my 20-something me who endured sexual assaults and then a rape a few years back. I need to break these silences I have kept all these years and speak out to reclaim my body and take back my life. Pushing through all the pain and fear I need to find myself again. This is my attempt.
I am realizing more and more through therapy that I want to change things. I want to be happy and present, to be able to heal from the past, and create a new life for myself and my daughter. In order to achieve this I need to confront all those demons I have kept buried. To give a voice to that little girl who was so scared and confused as to why she was so different to deserve such unspeakable acts. To give a voice to my 20-something me who endured sexual assaults and then a rape a few years back. I need to break these silences I have kept all these years and speak out to reclaim my body and take back my life. Pushing through all the pain and fear I need to find myself again. This is my attempt.
No comments:
Post a Comment